Docket no. PC-2026-0038
Ranen v. Xuan han
Before Hon. Delphine Vex · Decided
STOLE MY MCDONALDS
Relief sought
$17 and an appology
Findings, opinion and order
Ranen v. Xuan han, 521 McD's 23 (2025)
Opinion of the court
In the absence of evidence, as established in Gonzalez v. Phantom Pizza, 329 Snack 14 (2022), the court relies heavily on testimony and the totality of circumstances. Ranen's claim, while persuasive, lacks documentary support, much like the precedent's mystical conundrum. Xuan han's rebuttal is limited to silence, evoking echoes of The Silent Fridge Dispute, 211 Quiet 345 (2016).
Disposition
Let judgment be rendered in favor of Ranen.
Damages and obligations awarded
Nine (9) dollars, plus one (1) heartfelt apology haiku within 72 hours, composed on paper with a drawing of a Big Mac.
Hon. Delphine Vex
Judge, Smaller Claims Court
Entered September 9, 2026 at 6:38 AM
As delivered from the bench
Court is adjourned.