Docket no. PC-2026-0001
Alfred v. Ranen
Before Lord Chief Justice Ambrose Thackeray-Doom · Decided on appeal
HE WAS LATE FOR CLOUDHACKS!!!!!!
Relief sought
A Nice Apology
nooo aloy kidnapped me
Exhibit Afiled by Alfred
Opinion and order on appeal
Alfred v. Ranen, 615 CloudApp 765 (2023)
Opinion of the court
Upon review, the defense's claim of 'kidnapping by Aloy' is wholly unsubstantiated and fails to meet even the most generous standard of proof. Exhibit A, a peculiar advertisement for delivery services, remains irrelevant to the matter at hand. In line with precedent set by Smith v. Tardy Companions, 600 Petty 101 (2021), punctuality among peers holds paramount importance in maintaining social decorum.
Disposition
Judgment is rendered in favor of the plaintiff, Alfred.
Damages and obligations awarded
Ranen shall compose three (3) distinct and creative apology haikus, each delivered on a scroll, within forty-eight (48) hours. Failure to comply will result in Ranen organizing an elaborate Cloudhacks-themed trivia night by next weekend.
Lord Chief Justice Ambrose Thackeray-Doom
Court of Petty Appeals
Entered September 7, 2026 at 8:36 AM
As delivered from the bench
Vacated below
Hon. Ruth Calloway · September 7, 2026 at 8:29 AM
Alfred v. Ranen, 514 Cloud 90 (2023)
Judgment is rendered in favor of the plaintiff, Alfred.
Damages: One (1) formal apology letter, hand-delivered by Ranen, dressed in formal attire, within seventy-two (72) hours.
Court is adjourned.