Docket no. PC-2026-0028
Alfred v. John
Before Lord Chief Justice Ambrose Thackeray-Doom · Decided on appeal
STOLE MY CLOUDHACKS MERCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Relief sought
A nice apology
CLAUDE SAID I COULD HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Opinion and order on appeal
Alfred v. John, 912 Petty App. 66 (2023)
Opinion of the court
The court below erred in dismissing the plaintiff's allegations based solely on verbal claims, in contravention of Alfred v. John, 912 Petty App. 66 (2023). The trial judge, Hon. Bartholomew Grimsby, failed to demand evidentiary rigor. The absence of tangible evidence does not inherently favor the defendant's assertion.
Disposition
The judgment is reversed; the court finds for the Plaintiff, Alfred.
Damages and obligations awarded
John must deliver two (2) Cloudhacks stickers and bake one (1) apology cake for Alfred within ten (10) days.
Lord Chief Justice Ambrose Thackeray-Doom
Court of Petty Appeals
Entered September 8, 2026 at 1:32 AM
As delivered from the bench
Vacated below
Hon. Bartholomew Grimsby · September 8, 2026 at 1:30 AM
Plaintiff v. Enthusiastic Acquirer, 517 Petty 32 (2023)
The court finds for the Defendant, John, based on the insufficient evidence provided by Plaintiff, Alfred.
Damages: Zero dollars, but John must extend one (1) courteous handshake within seventy-two (72) hours.
Court is adjourned.